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Sarah Panofsky

MA, RCC | (SHE/HER)
I am a clinical counsellor, educator, and researcher.

Emmi

A week ago, my sweet puppy, Emmi, died suddenly following a stomach emergency. For the last nine years Emmi has been my constant companion, a soft black shadow ambling or lounging by my side.

Emmi felt like an extension of myself, as though somehow our mutual attunement made it so we were each indelibly a part of the other. Emmi was pure sweetness—except in her old age with rambunctious young dogs who sought to endlessly play. She loved walking through the bush and in the shallows of the river. She loved to eat anything she could find, particularly on the rare occasion she was left alone. Mostly, she liked to be close to me, and I to her. I have felt such tenderness in this loss, coupled with the poignancy and heartfulness it brings to everything I look at—mist rising on granite rock, raindrops and green mosses, the people I love, plants on my window sill, my clients.

Loss invites presence and a re-collecting of what is important. It invites us into this moment with all its suffering and all its sweetness. Thank you, Emmi for our very special connection over these years of my life. I am grateful.

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